I Crucified Thee

Ah, holy Jesus,

how hast thou offended,

that we to judge thee have in hate pretended?

By foes derided, by thine own rejected,

O most afflicted!

Who was the guilty?

Who brought this upon thee?

Alas, my treason, Jesus, hath undone thee!

'Twas I, Lord Jesus, I it was denied thee;

I crucified thee.

Lo, the Good Shepherd for the sheep is offered;

the slave hath sinned,

and the Son hath suffered.

For our atonement, while we nothing heeded,

God interceded.

For me, kind Jesus,

was thy incarnation,

thy mortal sorrow, and thy life's oblation;

thy death of anguish and thy bitter passion,

for my salvation.

Therefore, kind Jesus,

since I cannot pay thee,

I do adore thee, and will ever pray thee,

think on thy pity and thy love unswerving,

not my deserving.

-- Johann Heermann

A Peaceful Revolution

I've been thinking more and more about the Peace Prayer by St. Francis. Every day I think about my tasks and goals and how, through them, I may become an instrument of peace.

Being an instrument of peace at my job means bringing a sense of tranquility and order to the chaotic and tedious atmosphere. It means smiling and being a blessing to my coworkers and the customers, even when I don't feel like it. It means trying each day to succeed at this small, insignificant task I've been given to do. Seeking out the jobs that others dislike. Being attentive and attuned to the needs of others. Modifying myself and my actions to make things easier for someone else. It means harnessing my anger and frustration, biting my tongue, and being mature enough to keep a quiet, tranquil demeanor.

Being an instrument of peace in my church involves putting aside myself to serve others. By actively seeking ways to lighten the load of the busy pastors, I can lead by serving in my parish. It means attending to the many dozens of details that together make Sunday morning worship a profound and captivating experience. Coordinating the bulletins, inserts, announcements, worship notes, scripture readings, and prayers. Communicating with worship leaders on their roles and responsibilities. Preparing the sanctuary for worship, ordering the table for the Eucharist, washing the hands of those who will officiate.

Being an instrument of peace in my relationships means listening. Closing my mouth, shutting away my selfishness, and opening my heart and ears to the voice of another. It means understanding. Agreeing to disagree. It means putting aside differences and choosing to love people, even those with whom I disagree. It is the decision to stand up for those who are mistreated, befriend those who are unpopular, and value those who doubt their worth. It is a shoulder to lean on.

My prayer is that, somehow, I may bring peace to my little corner of the universe. That I may reverse hatred, injury, doubt, despair, darkness, sadness ... and bring peace instead. I am small, but I have a job to do. The only way I can change the world is by starting small. And bringing peace.

E.

An Instrument of Peace

St. Francis' Peace Prayer

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

I am quite an enthusiast of written prayers. They have a way of inspiring me and directing my thoughts. I have a small collection of favorites that I find myself going back to time after time, contemplating, and memorizing. Phrases get caught in my mind and find their way into my extemporaneous prayers and writings, and, more importantly, concepts and attitudes that are expressed in written prayers are cemented and strengthened in my mind as I consider them. The thoughts turn into values and actions, which build a lifestyle.

One of my favorite prayers is called the “Peace Prayer” and is attributed to St. Francis. It reminds me of the biography of St. Francis, who gave up wealth and position to live as a beggar. He loved the unlovable and cared for the lepers that everyone else was terrified of. As I pray, I ask myself -- would I have the strength to do something like that? Would I have the courage to lay aside the comfort and tranquility of my safe little world so that God could take me into His hands and use me as His instrument? Would I have the maturity to forsake my serene corner, to step out into a world of hatred, injury, doubt, despair, darkness, and sadness, and to take with me the gifts that God equips me with? Would I have the humility to give them away without a second thought to people I would rather not associate myself with, perhaps that I'm afraid of?

Truly the greatest virtue is humility. Conversely, the greatest sin is selfishness. Selfishness says that man is the most important, and leads us to all kinds of other sins. A man murders because he is selfish enough to think that he has the right to take another man's life. A woman is jealous because she is selfish enough to think that she deserves what someone else has. Selfishness makes us think we deserve only the best while silently killing us inwardly. Humility, on the other hand, says that God is most important, and we show our devotion and servitude to God by serving other people. The only way to serve another person is to put aside ourselves. A humble person is one who completely loses himself in serving God and other people. It isn't easy to forget ourselves, because we are constantly aware of our own wants and needs. I desire to be consoled by others when my mind is perturbed, to be understood by others when I don't even understand myself, to be loved and valued when I doubt my true worth. But at some point, if I really want to live as God's instrument, I have to put away and repress my own desires in order to make the world better for another person.

In his prayer, St. Francis captures this ironic concept of death to self. Jesus said, “...Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up your cross, and follow me.” (Matt. 10:21, NKJV) Jesus did not make the ultimate sacrifice so that we could sit back and relax in our warm, safe homes and wait to be ushered into heaven. The deed Jesus so humbly did, we must choose to do as well. We must let go of and throw away the things we hold dear, the old ways of thinking and satisfying ourselves. Only then will we know what it truly means to have life, and life more abundantly. It is in giving to others that we receive. It is in forgiving others that we will find forgiveness. And it is in that paradoxical death that we will find eternal life.

E.